Two Chained Souls
by SweetDarkLove
Summary: Sequel to Three Little Words. It had been good for a time ever since that night at the resort. Crona's life had turned around, gotten better, so much better. But the nightmares never changed. There was always the nightmares of hurting Tsubaki. Will he be able to deal with them? Or will these nightmares and worries destroy the new, happy life Crona had been given? M for late lemons.
1. Crona's Nightmare

_**Hey there everybody. I thought that I'd finally get around to finishing this little "series" if we can call it that. As promised in part one this will evolve into a lemon over the course of the story and I can only hope that I'll be able to write it the right way and you'll enjoy it. This'll be the first one that I've written and stuck with without feeling weird about it later which ultimately ends with me taking it down.**_

_** So yeah, I hope you guys like and support it and will offer constructive criticism. Enjoy.**_

_****UPDATED. A new title just came to me. A much better one then "Three Little Words part 2." I just wanted to add that proxy chapter to get this updated so I could explain the change. Thank you for your time.**_

* * *

Four months. Four _months_ of the happiest moments of his life. That's how Crona would describe the time he'd spent with Tsubaki since their time spent at the resort Kid had paid for. The moment he and Kid had gotten a moment alone Crona literally almost broke the Reaper's spine with the force of the hug he gave him. He had thanked him again and again and _again_ for what he had done for him.

It had been amazing. Tsubaki had been so supporting every day since then; she'd done exactly what she said she would. The bullying had all but stopped when people found out about the two of them; everyone was so curious about how someone like Crona had ended up with Tsubaki, they finally listened, they finally gave him a _chance_. Not only that, Tsubaki had helped him get a _job_, a job of all things, he was working part time at a music shop now.

He earned more then what he needed to pay for food and his apartment and was able to take Tsubaki on dates, and buy her gifts, and fill his apartment with new things, and have parties with his friend; things he'd never thought of being able to do before. She enjoyed herself on every occasion which helped Crona's confidence grow more and more every day. He was able to make a girl happy; he was able to make a girl acknowledge that he was a good _boyfriend_. All of this left him smiling every day he woke up.

Crona was accepted. He was barely being picked on anymore and on the occasions it did happen it was always met with disapproval from all around him. He had a job with a wonderful boss that gave him money to put away for his friends and Tsubaki. And he'd finally gotten over his fear of talking with Stein and Marie and the two adults had done exactly what Tsubaki had said.

He had parents. _Parents_! People that actually considered him a son even after every horrible thing he had done to them. The two had wanted him to move in with them at Stein's lab, he had refused of course but they had told him that the doors were open to him always. He had finally accepted Marie's offer of being his councilor at the Academy and Stein had accepted him as a psychiatry patient without a single word.

Crona was _happy_. For once in his entire misery filled existence he was truly happy. He barely worried about how his friend reacted about his actions. He almost _never_ stuttered anymore. Stein had prescribed him something to help him sleep when he was having nightmares so he never had sleepless night. His finally had everything he had ever wanted…

At the same time though. Crona still had one thing that scared him worse then any kind of nightmare…

'~~~'

It was a scary movie, at least the others thought so from what Crona could tell. He was sitting on one of the brand new couches he had bought for his living room, Tsubaki next to him, her head against his shoulder, the two of them underneath a blanket. The others were all sitting in similar positions with their partners on the other two couches surrounding his new flat-screen TV… it had been a gift from Stein and Marie. There was no way he could have ever hoped to afford it _and_ the new couches.

The screen suddenly flashed with the killer rushing the college kids from the dark making everyone jump and yelp playfully, Tsubaki pushing herself against him with a smile. He smiled as well, this had been her idea, he was glad he listened to her. He wrapped his arms around her beneath the blanket, his fingers brushing up against the lip of her shirt, brushing against her skin. His smile went a little crooked as she shifted, leaning into him a little more. Crona didn't really think all that much as his hand touched her bare stomach.

They had touched before, on the nights Tsubaki came over to spend the night, it always happened eventually. Tsubaki had always told him that it was ok with her, that as long as he was the one doing it she was fine. He loved that most about her: how open she was with him, how willing. That's why he tried so hard every day to try and make himself seem like he deserved her.

Crona's hands trailed up and he held her close, she was smiling lightly now, a faint pink on both their cheeks. His hand went a little higher on accident when another jump-scare came, his fingertips grazing her bra. His hand was shaking now, though it was still over her chest. She shifted again, her head laying back on his shoulder with a sigh. Crona's hand finally fell and he kept himself from sighing.

Tsubaki couldn't help but feel disappointed. This was the problem Crona had, the thing that scared him so much. He could be passionate, he could give Tsubaki a wonderful time and make her feel amazing but still, whenever the chance came for Crona to do anything more then intimate he always backed off… there had been _many_ chances. He was fine with touching her, she knew that from all the countless times they lied together like this, he would always get closer and closer to someplace important, her chest or thighs, but right before he ever made it there he always seemed to tense up and back away.

Tsubaki never asked him about it, never pressed him about why he didn't do anything to go further with her. She understood after all. He may not openly admit it but he still worried about the way she'd react, worried that he'd overstep some boundary she had and she'd not like him for it. She knew that the only thing to do was give him time; that was the only way to work with helping traumatized people like Crona get used to things: Time.

He'd come around eventually.

Tsubaki looked back at him as he dragged circles over her stomach _"this is a nice movie"_ she whispered with a smile.

He hesitated a bit, worrying exactly like Tsubaki had said before he nodded _"I-it seemed like it'd be good"_ he whispered back. She didn't seem mad, that normally meant she wasn't.

Her smile dissolved into a smirk _"you aren't scared are you?"_ she nudged him with her head.

That got him to smile _"I'm not a baby"_ he hugged her closer.

Tsubaki looked back at the screen still smirking _"could have fooled me-"_ she bit back a squeak. He had _pinched_ her. She smiled softly, he may not be up to touching her _that_ way yet, but at least he was close enough for her to be hopeful.

The rest of the movie went on without much incident. Everyone was enjoying it, everyone had a smile and Crona was feeling better after giving up on touching Tsubaki. The night was going well.

_"So"_ Maka whispered towards the end of the movie, things had slowed down a bit _"if this happened to us who do you think would die first?"_ the others looked at her with chuckles.

Black Star chuckled _"I'd say Soul"_ the scythe raised an eyebrow _"what? The 'cool' guy usually tends to die first."_

Soul laughed _"I don't know, this guy seems to like going after the nice one first"_ he glanced over at Tsubaki and Crona with a grin _"he might go after poor defenseless Tsubaki over here."_

Crona hugged her protectively, actually looking worried _"then I wouldn't let him."_

Ragnarok came out with a pop, cracking his knuckles _"and we'd totally kick the guy's ass"_ he was watching the screen intently, he liked horror flicks _"nobody touches our girl."_

Tsubaki smiled at this. Ever since the demon-sword had seen how much she affected Crona, how _normal_ she made him, he'd become friendly and even out right _defensive_ towards her. No longer was she "the big-boobed girl that made good food" or "the crazy flower chick" she was "Crona's girlfriend" and "our girl." It was a nice feeling, having Ragnarok of all people treating her that way.

"_But what if you didn't have your powers?"_ Liz asked curiously.

That made Ragnarok frown _"huh, no powers eh…"_ he looked down at Crona closely, he had an anxious look on his face; the swordsman didn't like this topic at all. Ragnarok thought about it for a bit then shrugged _"well we could at least slow the dick down a bit I guess."_

Tsubaki looked up at him in surprise _"Ragnarok! Don't say things like that."_

_"What? Do you really think this shrimp could do anything to a killer without his powers?"_

Tsubaki rested her head against Crona again _"I like to think he could."_

_"He could always kick the guy in the balls"_ Black Star pointed out earning a round of laughs _"he seems good at doing that"_ he never let Crona live that down.

Crona shrunk indignantly _"everyone knows you deserved it…"_

Tsubaki and the others laughed _"it's still nice to know you'd protect me if it happened"_ she curled up against him as the others went back to the movie, things were picking back up _"my little knight in shining armor."_

Crona smiled, relaxing. Days like this were always nice, when everyone came over to his home for a change and he was able to give them a fun time. Especially since Tsubaki stayed with him till the next day. He'd been having nightmares this week, Tsubaki being there while he slept was always enough to keep him from needing one of Stein's pills. She always made everything better when she was around. He ran his hands over her stomach again, so soft.

He loved her so much.

…

The others had left later that night happy with the end of the movie and the night and Tsubaki had told Black Star the usual line about seeing him at the Academy the next day. Things from there went how they normally did, Crona had changed into a shirt and boxers and Tsubaki her kimono and the two had lied down cuddling how they normally did until they fell asleep. Crona hadn't taken his medication like he planned.

That had been a mistake.

* * *

_The two were in bed much like they were in reality, the only difference though was that both were awake and _touching _and unlike in real life Crona wasn't backing off this time. Her skin was soft just like how it was normally, only he could see a lot more now, her Kimono was loose around her form, Crona could see almost everything. _

_ Crona was kissing her, she was holding onto him so tightly. He didn't know how this had happened, but he was so happy it had. She wanted him. He believed that so much, that she actually wanted him in everyway. Her hands were trailing down his back, her lips brushing against his, her legs against his, her hips against his. He stirred under his clothes, in dream and reality as her leg slid between his, rubbing against him._

_ She was smiling at him with so much longing as her hands trailed lower as his did, both of them running their hands over each other's thighs. Hers were so milky and soft, his fingers pressed into her skin. She moaned beneath him, her embrace tightening over him._

_ She cupped him, earning a moan that matched her own. She was touching him. She wanted him. He quavered under her touch, kissing her again. He wanted this so much. To make her feel good, to feel good himself. He wanted to _please_ her. To make her shake under him. His eyes were shut as he lay his head on her chest just savoring the feeling of being here with her. It was all he ever needed, just being here with her._

_ "Crona" he smiled; he liked hearing her say his name "open your eyes Crona."_

_ He did. He looked her in the face smiling, barely noticing the little bit of red at the edge of her mouth and frowned upon seeing it, wondering what it was. He reached up to brush it away, his body pressing up against hers, his frown deepening. Why did she feel so sticky? He looked down and froze, a tremor running through him._

_Blood. So much blood._

_From her belly up it was nothing but red, but that wasn't all the blood he saw, that wasn't the blood that made him tear up, shaking his head. Black needles were sticking out of him, _into_ Tsubaki. The red at the edge of her mouth had been her blood dribbling out._

_ He couldn't speak, he couldn't move, all he could do was watch as more needles pierced her "why?" she looked so hurt "why did you do it?" he could only shake his head. He didn't want this. He didn't want this to happen, this wasn't supposed to happen_

"_why did you kill me?" she tilted her head looking so sad "I thought you loved me."_

_ All he could do was scream._

* * *

Crona bolted awake with a scream, jarring Tsubaki awake as well "Crona?" she reached for him but he recoiled from her, scrambling back "Crona, Crona, it's ok, you're ok" she held her hands out, slowly setting them down towards his legs but she pulled back from him as he tensed, looking away from her. He looked so terrified "it's ok" she smiled at him "it was just a nightmare, it's over now, you're safe" he was breathing frantically.

He was scared. He was so scared that the moment he looked at her he'd see the blood again. He couldn't see that. He couldn't deal with knowing he had hurt her he would sooner die that bare that pain.

Tsubaki straightened up, calming herself, she knew what to do here "Crona" she took a deep breath "look at me" she ordered but he didn't, wincing as if hearing that pained him "look. At. Me" he slowly looked up, facing her, but his eyes were closed "open your eyes Crona, look at me" he didn't want to, he wanted anything but to look at her "please Crona" his eye cracked open as he looked at her.

She was ok. Tsubaki was ok. He looked her over, especially her stomach. No blood, there was nothing but her kimono. He reached out hesitantly, feeling like the moment he touched her she'd be skewered. She made the final choice for him though, grabbing his hand tenderly and putting it on her belly.

"It's ok Crona" she rubbed the tension out of his fingers "it was just a nightmare, it wasn't real."

"I-it wasn't real" Crona nodded, still shaking "none of it was real, it didn't happen" he was trying to convince himself so much.

Tsubaki held her arms out, Crona slid into the hug immediately, holding her tightly "do you want to talk about it?" she rubbed his head gently "we don't have to if it's too much" he didn't want to. He couldn't tell Tsubaki about what he'd been dreaming about before... before the _needles_. She deserved an answer though.

"W-w-we were with each other" he was stuttering again, he hated stuttering, it made him look like a mess "it was… I-it was normal, we were just having fun with the others" he pushed himself against her "we were holding each other, j-just hugging and kissing and then…" he winced.

"It's ok Crona" she smiled softly "if it's too hard…"

"I… I-I looked down and you were bleeding… _everywhere_" she could feel him shaking "dozens of my needles were in you and you… y-you asked me why I did it" he sniffled, he was crying "you asked me why I killed you."

"Oh Crona" she winced "I'm so sorry" she reached for his hand, holding it tightly.

"It's ok" he took a shaky breath "I-it's ok, I'm ok now" he looked up at her, trying to smile "it wasn't real, none of it was" he sniffed again "you said so, it's ok now."

"Yeah, everything's ok" she brushed some tears away "I'm safe, nothing is wrong with me" she thumbed his palm "Crona, if it's okay with you, I can go get your medicine for you" she kissed his forehead "I'll be right back ok?" he nodded, curling up, she was so nice, so understanding and caring "it'll only take a minute, I promise I'll be right back" she got up giving his hand one last squeeze as she left.

Ragnarok slipped out as she left "hey, you alright?" he asked noting the tears "I didn't watch this one, bad?"

Crona nodded.

Ragnarok whistled "man, hasn't been a screamer like that in a long time" he shook his head "you _woke_ me up with that thing" he sighed slipping back into the boy "oh well, look at it this way kid, bad ones like these usually mean no more for a while right?"

He was right. It was ok. Everything was ok. Everything was fine.

No… no everything _wasn't_ fine. It was nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. Because what had happened in his dream could happen in real life. All it took was one moment of weakness, one moment of not paying attention and Tsubaki would be dead. And it would be his fault. If he didn't pay attention, he could lose the only person that meant more then anything to him.

He was so scared he'd mess it all up.

"Hey" Tsubaki stepped back in, two pills and a glass of water in her hands "I'm back" she smiled sadly, holding the medicine to him "here."

"Thank you" he took them from her. It would help, but it didn't change things. He was a danger to her. He could _kill_ her if he wasn't careful.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't.

It would destroy him worse then anything the madness could come up with.

* * *

_**So, I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter with that little borderline lime in the middle. I also hope you like the way things have started for Crona in this little story following the events of part 1.**_

_**I'm looking forward to your opinions.**_


	2. Pain and Acceptence

Tsubaki had trouble sleeping that night.

This marked the fifth time that she had woken up to check on Crona, to make sure he was alright. She couldn't even imagine something like what he had went through, having to deal with horrible nightmares like that, watching the people important to him die and blame him for it. She _hated_ seeing what it did to him, reducing the sweet innocent boy she had fallen for back into a miserable, terrified kid barely able to interact with others.

Tsubaki rolled over, facing Crona's unconscious form. She wished so much that she could help him _now_ but the medicine Stein had given him worked a little too well, she'd have to wait till morning. She sighed, putting her hand over his, he felt so cold, that always happened when he was scared.

She squeezed his hand _"he deserves better then this"_ she ran her thumb over his skin _"it isn't fair that he has to deal with this when his life is just finally becoming normal" _at least she could make him feel better in the morning; one of her nice homemade breakfasts would cheer him up.

She'd have to go talk with Stein about this. He and Marie had asked her to tell them about any problem Crona was having and she had agreed to it completely. Crona had an awful habit of downplaying everything that happened to him so it was almost impossible to tell what he was really feeling and help him with it. Tsubaki may be able to help Crona in her own little way in the morning but Stein and Marie would be able to help him much better then she ever could, they were much more qualified for this.

Tsubaki glanced at Crona's clock _"I should probably get back to sleep"_ she thought, moving closer to him _"no point in being exhausted when I need to help him tomorrow"_ she glanced at the clock again _"… I'll check on him again in an hour" _she kissed his cheek, getting comfortable next to him _"maybe half"_ she rested her forehead against his _"or fifteen minutes…"_

…

Crona hated the way the pills made him in the mornings. Everything was so sluggish and it was so hard to pay attention. He shifted in his bed, rolling over, his head hurting. Not to mention how much it made his head throb; Stein said it had something to do with the madness in his blood reacting negatively to the medicine. Crona hated his madness so much.

"…_na_" he shifted again at the voice "-_rona_" it sounded like it was so far off "_come_ _on_ _Crona_" his eyes opened sluggishly "it's time to get up now" he felt something tap his forehead.

He blinked a few times, trying to focus "Tsubaki?" he palmed his eyes, trying to clear them.

She smiled "there we go, I was starting to get worried" she sounded relieved, had she really worried? He didn't know "I just wanted to make sure you woke up alright."

When he looked at her he noted that she seemed tired "Tsubaki…" guilt gripped him. First he had woken her up with his screaming… "Were you checking on me again?" now this? She _always_ did that when he had nightmares, why did he have to mess everything up?

She shrugged "maybe" she got up, rubbing her own eyes.

Crona wanted to scold her for it, wanted to tell her she didn't need to, but he had learned the result of that all too well. He shivered at the thought; Tsubaki angry was a terrifying thing to see. He'd settle for her being happy and worried about him, it felt nicer, less scary.

"What time is it?" the clock was just a blob of glowing green. He palmed his eyes harder, trying to clear them, he _hated_ what this medicine did to him.

"A little after ten" Tsubaki pulled a pair of clothes out of the bag she'd brought with her "you have a session with Stein at 12:00 just in case you forgot, that's why I woke you" she made a habit of keeping track of his schedule, always looking out for him, he loved that about her. She smiled back at him "not to mention that I wanted to make you a nice breakfast before lunch."

_That_ made Crona jolt awake and focus, his chest warming happily. Her breakfasts were one of the few things he lived for now, they were perfect every time she made them "the pancakes?" he asked hopefully, those were his favorite.

She nodded with a sweet smile "that's your comfort food after all" she went into his bathroom to change.

Crona felt a pang in his heart _"she's too good to me."_

The rest of him went numb suddenly _"I thought you loved me"_ he shook himself hearing Tsubaki's voice in his head, trying to forget the nightmare _"you take advantage of me so much, you're lucky I pity you"_ he winced at the new words.

That was the madness talking. It always did that, trying to cement the terror and pain of a past nightmare. Crona took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, doing what Stein always said to do with his madness, analyze it and pick it apart. Tsubaki would never say that, that he was taking advantage of her, she wanted to make breakfast for him, cooking was one of her favorite hobbies.

_"You're nothing but a drain on me, waking me up when I sleep, making me come over to comfort you when you're feeling bad."_

It was in Tsubaki's nature to comfort her friends, and how was he a drain when he was the one supporting every date, every party? He felt that Tsubaki should never have to raise a finger and she rarely did.

_"I sometimes wonder what I'm thinking, staying with someone like you, someone who could hurt me at any moment."_

Crona tensed hearing that… he had nothing to say to that. It was true…

He only had a moment to realize his mistake before Tsubaki's voice laughed harshly. He had given it ammunition against him _"you see? You put me in danger every moment I'm with you, and yet you stay"_ it sounded so disgusted _"how selfish."_

It wasn't selfish he told himself over and over. Tsubaki loved him, he loved her-

_"And yet you do nothing to protect me from yourself, you just stay around me, following me like a lovesick puppy even though you could kill me at any moment."_

He would never do that-

_"Of course you wouldn't, your body would do it all by itself the moment you let go."_

He couldn't argue with that.

_"You know it's true and yet you keep lying to yourself"_ the voice scolded him _"just look at what happened during your fight with Maka under the Academy."_

Crona felt sick at the memories

"_You almost killed Maka down there when you lost control of your blood, your needles cut and stabbed her and she only made it out of there because she was lucky they didn't hit anything important"_ the voice had to tone of disgust again _"is that why you stay with me? Do you think that I'll be lucky and that you'll never hurt me?"_ it laughed again, it hurt to hear _"it's your nature to hurt things, you may have the soul of a gentle boy but you have the body of a murdering monster-"_

"Crona?" he snapped out of it at Tsubaki's voice as she walked out of his bathroom "are you ok?" He was so pale, he was shaking.

He nodded quickly "y-yeah, I'm fine" he got up to walk to his dresser, but she grabbed his hand.

"No. You're not" it was a statement "what happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine" he pulled his hand away, getting his clothes.

"Crona, please, tell me what's wrong" he felt her hand on his shoulder "I can help-"

He shrugged her off, moving away with his clothes "no you can't, because nothing's wrong."

"Crona…" she sounded so hurt.

He wanted to tell her so badly, wanted her to understand, but then she'd just worry more. He didn't want that, he didn't deserve that. Because the madness was right, he _was_ putting her in danger by being near her. Every second he was with her was another that could possibly lead her to getting hurt because of him.

Tsubaki didn't know what to think. What had happened in the tiny space of time it had taken for her to change? And why wouldn't he tell her what it was? He told her everything.

She watched the door close behind Crona wondering what it could be _"he always tells me when something is wrong"_ she sighed, turning to his door _"he must have his reasons for not doing it this time"_ she reasoned _"he's probably just shaken up about that dream still or maybe it's because of his meds, they do make him a little antsy"_ she smiled to herself at this reason _"yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine after breakfast, it's nothing to worry about"_ she thought as she went to work.

Crona had stayed in his room for quite a while as Tsubaki cooked and she was becoming concerned. She was just about to turn off the stove and check on him when his door opened. He had his eyes on the ground, shamefaced. He came over to the table and sat down, tapping on the wood nervously.

"Something wrong?" she put a finished batch on a plate.

"I… I'm sorry about before" he felt so bad "the medicine, it makes me a little touchy" he was _lying_ to her, how could he do something so horrible?

Tsubaki though accepted the reason "don't worry about it Crona."

"No really, I am so, so sorry" he felt so disgusted with himself. He was taking advantage of her trust "it wasn't right for me to snap at you" none of what he was doing to her was right though.

She smiled back at him "Crona, it's alright, everyone has to snap at some point, it's normal" she witched off the stove "and I've snapped at people before too, so what kind of person would I be if I got mad at you for it? Besides, you have a good reason."

But that reason was a lie "I guess so" he hated how good she was making him sound.

"And at least you apologized, that's all that would matter to me" she set the plate down in front of him "I hope this helps make you feel better" she kissed his forehead.

He couldn't help smiling "I don't deserve you."

She smirked "yeah, pretty much" she laughed, sitting across from him "I only stay for the hugs."

"I love you" he meant that with every part of his disgusting, lying, soul.

Her smile went back to sincere "I love you too."

…

The rest of the morning went better that the beginning. Crona didn't have any more madness spikes and wasn't forced to lie to Tsubaki which he was thankful for and the two were now walking down the street towards Stein's lab. Crona was thinking at that time what he was going to tell the doctor. They'd been on this topic for a while, Crona's nightmares, and the dreams themselves and Crona had been a little skimpy on details most of the time. He had decided that he was going to tell the truth the truth this time, which left him with mixed feelings. He knew that Stein would keep it to himself sure, and that he'd be getting this off his chest, but that didn't change how embarrassing it was for the boy.

_"I wonder if Stein has anything that could help…"_ he thought before sighing silently _"no, he couldn't have something like that."_

_"You really think he doesn't have anything?"_ Ragnarok popped up _"I mean come on, he's bound to have some kind of crazy pill lying around somewhere."_

_"But something like that doesn't exist"_ Crona slumped _"Medusa made it so the black blood could only _spread_ by medicine, not be held back."_

_"Man, she was a crafty bitch wasn't she?"_ Ragnarok almost sounded impressed _"she's been dead for almost a year and she's still screwing us over."_

Tsubaki gave Crona's hand a squeeze pulling him from his thoughts "so, do you want to do anything with the others after your session?"

He thought about it "I guess we could, Maka said something yesterday about having a late lunch with her and Black Star" he shifted a bit "and I uh… I thought that maybe we could… watch another movie tonight? Just the two of us" he suggested "your choice."

She smiled, it was nice when he was the one asking her "ok that sounds great" she thought about something and smirked "but I want ice cream this time."

"Of course" he needed to make lying up to her, even if she didn't know it had happened "I'll get you some rocky-road" it was her favorite."

"Great!" she looked forward at Stein's gate "well, I guess I'll go give Maka a call, tell her we're coming" she waved at him turning back the way they came. She'd call Stein about Crona's nightmare later, and besides, there was a chance Crona would tell him anyway "I'll call you and tell you where it is."

"Thanks" he waved, already missing her.

He didn't want her to leave, but it would only make it more dangerous for him if she stayed. He didn't want any chance of her finding out about what he's been thinking about, it would go and make everything awkward between them. He sighed, walking to the door.

The door opened up to Marie's smiling face "Crona! Hey there!" she brought him into a hug "we've been waiting for you."

Crona hugged back, smiling "hi Miss Marie" her hugs were almost as good as Tsubaki's were "thanks for letting me over."

Marie brought him inside, shaking her head, still smiling "you don't have to thank us Crona, we're happy to help."

"It's still nice of you."

"No, it's just what parents do" that made him warm in his chest "so, how have things been going with Tsubaki?"

"They've been fine I guess…" some of his guilt surfaced on his face. He was going to tell them. He had to get this out of his soul.

Marie noticed "Crona?"

Crona sighed "I… I lied to Tsubaki earlier today."

"Oh no" she led him into Stein's lab where the doctor was waiting.

"What's wrong?" Stein frowned at Crona's crestfallen look.

"Apparently Crona's had a bit of trouble with Tsubaki today" Marie explained.

"Really?" that was interesting, their relationship seemed rock solid to him "what happened?"

"I had another one of… _those_ dreams" the boy sat down in one of the chairs "and it turned into a nightmare."

"Ah, and when Tsubaki asked you about it you had to lie to her, that's what the problem was?" Stein nodded, only needing that much to guess "am I right?"

Crona nodded, it didn't seem to help any that he had let it out "yeah" he had still lied to Tsubaki, that guilt was still in there, festering.

"So tell me about this nightmare" Stein spun in his chair, glancing at the boy on every couple spins.

Crona took a deep breath, here goes… "it… it was a lot like the others" he fidgeted with his hands, this was so embarrassing "w-we were laying in my bed, touching… k-kissing…" he calmed himself "w-we hadn't actually gotten to…" he always had trouble with that word.

"Sex" the boy winced at the doctor's bluntness, even Marie gave Stein a disappointed look.

"Yeah…" Crona rubbed the back of his head "w-we were getting there I guess, and I stopped at one point, closing my eyes" he took a breath, steadying himself "a-and when I opened them Tsubaki was bleeding everywhere, my needles were sticking into her."

Marie winced with sympathy, but Stein showed no reaction "and I take it it was around this time that you woke up and had to lie to Tsubaki."

"I-I only left out the touching part" Crona was trying to defend himself "the rest I told her."

"Yes, you've told me about this issue before, your problem with having intimate interactions with Tsubaki and her finding out about your thoughts" Stein nodded, taking this in "so then, it's mostly the thought of intimacy that's troubling you in these situations" he kept nodding to himself "you're worried that if you become intimate with her that you'll somehow make this nightmare come true, and you'll somehow kill her by accident."

Crona nodded, feeling incredibly uncomfortable "yeah."

Stein rubbed his chin "have you been doing what I've been telling you? Picking apart these negative thoughts of yours? It should have helped."

Crona nodded again "yeah, a-and it works too most of the time…" he sighed "but… but I always get to that thought…"

"And that thought is?" Stein raised a curious eyebrow.

"That… that I'll hurt her if I try anything."

"And you have trouble denying this?" Stein frowned.

"But that's just it, I can't deny it" Crona slumped in his chair.

"Why's that?" Stein asked curiously, this was the most they'd gone into this topic.

"You already know why" Crona sighed he didn't want to think about those memories.

Stein frowned, thinking "what do you…" a thought sparked in his head and he settled "ah, your blood, that's it isn't it?"

"You've seen what happens when I lose control, lose focus."

"Your blood reacts violently whenever possible, so that's what it is" he leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling "it's not just intimacy alone that worries you, it's the thought of losing focus somewhere along the way and letting your blood go free."

"And that's not the only thing."

"It's your blood's disease like ability to infect and spread through new bodies" Stein nodded, understanding this topic better. He breathed out "well, this _is_ a problem isn't it?" he asked no one in particular.

"Oh Crona, I'm sorry things aren't going well" Marie slumped in her chair "I wish we had some way to help."

"I know" Crona nodded "but I already knew there's nothing you two can do" he smiled sadly "… I'm just glad I could talk about it with someone."

"Well, us not being able to help isn't _exactly_ true…" Stein spun in his chair again, clicking his screw around in his head thinking "… I'm _pretty_ sure I could put something together to help with your focus" he stopped his chair to face the boy who was looking at him with a frown "your blood's effects though…"

"Either way I don't want to risk it" Crona shook his head with a sigh "part of me always knew I guess" he rested his head in his hands, his elbows digging into his knees "I just wished…"

"Oh Crona" Marie came over and wrapped him in a hug "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok" Crona smiled miserably "… I guess I can just enjoy what I have now" he leaned into Marie "before she finally finds out and leaves."

"Crona!" Marie straightened him up "she'd never do that!"

He didn't feel like arguing with her. He didn't feel like doing anything right now. He didn't feel any better at all. He only felt so much worse because he had to come to terms with the facts and that there was nothing he could do about it. Tsubaki would eventually get sick of it, the lies, the failed advances, she'd get sick and leave him for someone who can give her a normal life.

"I know Tsubaki Crona" Marie stared him in the eye "she would _never_ do that to you, no matter what happens" Crona nodded, but he didn't believe it. It was easy to say that now. Just wait, it'll happen no matter what. He'd be alone again.

Stein could already see it in Crona's eyes. He sighed, getting up "Crona, I'm going to prescribe you some anxiety medication" he went over to his medicine cabinet "these are a lot like the sleeping pills I gave you before" Marie stared back at him sadly. She hated that he was giving Crona medication… but she saw no alternative, they had no idea how to help him with these feelings "take two and _only_ two a day…"

Crona had stopped listening around then. He was just thinking about Tsubaki. She meant everything to him and the thought of losing her… His eyes were burning. Crona tensed, taking a deep breath. He wouldn't cry, not here, not like this. He wouldn't grieve a lost love until it's gone. Crona took another breath. He'd enjoy it as much as he could, for as long as he could.

He was going to take in as much as Tsubaki's love before she was gone from his life. He'd make sure he had a special part in his soul just for her. A part that he could fall back to whenever his misery caught up to him after she was gone. A nice little corner in his soul he could protect himself in.

A nice little corner he could curl up and die in to escape the pain…


	3. Game Plan

Tsubaki had glanced at her phone with worry for the seventh time in that hour. Why hadn't Crona responded to anything she had sent him yet? "Tsubaki, jeez, calm down" Maka chuckled at her friend's evident anxiety "Crona usually spends some extra time with Stein and Marie, you know that.

Tsubaki sighed, leaning back in her chair "I know, it's just so hard not to worry though" should she call him again?

"You're babying him again…" Black Star looked up at the ceiling to escape her scowl.

"He's right you know" Maka laughed as the scowl faded into a reserved pout, Black Star _was_ right for once "you can't keep worrying about him all the time, Crona's gotten much better at handling himself" she smiled softly "he isn't that scared little kid anymore."

Tsubaki's heart lightened at the thought. She nodded reluctantly "he has gotten better, I know that…" he really had "it's just…" did she have the right to tell them about it? Maka _was_ Crona's closest friend after Tsubaki, she meant a lot to him.

"Just what?" Black Star had turned back to face her, frowning "something happen with you two?"

"No, not us, just…" they were Crona's friends, the closest thing to family he had besides Stein and Marie. She sighed, coming to her decision "he had another nightmare this morning" she shifted in her seat "a really bad one."

"How bad this time?" Maka asked with worry.

"_Really_ bad" she may be able to tell them he had one, but going into it was only Crona's right "like the kind that wakes you up screaming bad."

Maka winced "so that's what has you worried then" she could understand the feeling.

"He was terrified after it" Tsubaki rested her chin in her hand "he wouldn't even look at me, wouldn't even touch me until I made him" she sighed sadly "so yeah, I'm worried about him."

"Huh, so that bad?" Black Star frowned again, thinking "have you talked with him yet?"

"I tried, but he got so touchy and stormed off" she didn't like the memory of him snapping at her "he apologized right after and really meant it, but still, we haven't talked about what it's done to him yet."

Black Star took this in, thinking about what to say for once "… he's a tough guy" he finally said "he just needs to get it off his chest and he'll be fine."

"But I don't want to force it out of him, and I'm so sure he doesn't want to talk about it at all on his own" it was so _frustrating_ "I just don't know what to do with him."

Maka pursed her lips with a thought "why not one of your massages?"

This had the opposite effect on Tsubaki rather then cheering her up "we haven't done that in so long…" it always led to the two of them holding and touching. Touching that Crona always broke away from as soon as it started getting heated.

Maka noticed her friend's reluctance "what's wrong with that idea? He _loves_ those!"

"He's…" this topic wasn't just about Crona now, she had every right to talk about it. Besides, she needed to vent about this "he's just gotten so distant from me when it comes to touching" she hated saying it but she had to tell someone about it. It was eating her up just thinking about it.

"He's been getting distant? Towards _you_?" That surprised Black Star more then anything.

Tsubaki nodded with some irritation, not at her partner but at the situation with Crona "I don't understand it at all" she huffed "he used to be fine with me, we'd hug, and he'd let me give him one of our special massages whenever he felt bad, but now…" she shook her head "don't get me wrong, we still hug and he'll touch me it's just… _well_" she threw her hands up "he doesn't seem to want to do anything _further_ with me" and she _wanted_ him to, she left out.

She would remain patient with him still, but it seemed like they had reached that point in their relationship so many times before. That _special_ point that every last one of her friends had already taken before her. She had no idea what was wrong with him. He always acted so sincere and loving but he always got so distant when it came to intimacy, and after what he had told that morning she couldn't help but feel it had something to do with these nightmares. Something seemed off about the other times he had nightmares and what he had told her about them.

Maka's expression was all sympathy "he doesn't do anything with you?"

Tsubaki pushed her fork around "he'll come close to it without even knowing, but he always notices and pulls back the moment he sees it."

Black Star was frowning again "what do you thinks wrong with him?" he seemed generally confused for once "I mean come on, if it had been me I would have been all over you in a heart-" his face met the table, a book planted firmly in his head.

Maka took a deep breath, settling her nerves, she would not kill him… yet at least "so he really doesn't try?" she yanked her book out of Black Star's skull.

Tsubaki shook her head "like I said, he'll come close but that's it."

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Maka thought out loud "he used to never get enough of you! I don't think there was a time when I _didn't_ see you two holding hands."

"Am I doing something wrong?" Black Star was out cold, this freed the two up a bit "am I babying him too much again?" she always ended up doing that "do you think it's putting him off?"

"No, it's not that" Maka was truly puzzled "you've been acting like a normal couple should every time I saw you together" she stared at her friend as if trying to put it all together from her face alone "has anything besides this nightmare happened? Has anyone said, or done anything to you two?"

"Nothing, no" Tsubaki shrugged "people have left him alone for the most part ever since they found out about us, no one's sent him anything or hid anything in his mail or locker, nothing."

"Weird" Maka tapped the table, thinking "it must have _something_ to do with these nightmares then, it's the only explanation" she looked down at Black Star, poking the side of his limp head. He was out cold "can you tell me _anything_ about them?" she pleaded "I'll hit Black Star again to make sure he's out if that's what you want."

Tsubaki looked down at her unconscious partner, biting her lip, questioning her right to tell Maka. This was Crona's personal business… "he…" he needed help, that was the only thought that went through her mind as she contemplated letting out this information "he's been having nightmares about all of _us_ from what he's told me."

Maka frowned "us?"

Tsubaki nodded, feeling a little bad about going behind Crona's back on this "from what he's told me one of us dies every time" she slumped in her seat "I was the latest."

Maka winced "oh…"

Tsubaki felt sick while continuing "he said that I had blamed him for it in the nightmare, that I had asked him why he did it."

"Oh man" Maka felt numb "that's horrible" she frowned despite the situation "but that doesn't explain why he's suddenly gotten so distant from you if this is the first time you were in them."

This next part made Tsubaki feel even worse "I…" she sighed, shaking her head. She didn't want to say it, but she had to. It had been bugging her ever since the moment he had told her what had happened yesterday "I think he's been lying to me."

Maka's eyes widened "what? Crona?" she couldn't believe that.

"I know, I know, it's horrible to say, but it seems like that's the case" Tsubaki rubbed her eyes, pinching her nose "he has this… this _tone_ when he talks normally, he always sounds so sincere and honest, but lately…" he shrugged, staring at the table blankly "from the moment these nightmares had started happening he lost that tone every time I asked about it" it was so, so frustrating "this morning when he told me what had happened he sounded the most honest he had in so long, but even then it sounded like he was lying to me."

"So what are you thinking" the worry was back in Maka's features.

She knew that it sounded odd, but it made everything fall into place in her head, it made the most sense "I'm thinking that maybe I've _always_ been the one dying in his nightmares, and it's made him scared of being close to me."

Maka didn't want to but found she had to agree "it… it would explain how he's been acting towards you" she admitted "he's always taken things like that seriously, he probably is doing it again now."

Tsubaki felt miserable "I guess part of me always knew that he was lying, I didn't want to believe it, but after today I'm almost certain, and now I don't know what to do with him about it" she had her chin over her arms on the table "I _want_ him to tell me what's wrong, I want him to trust me, but I don't want to force him, it seems so cruel to force something out of him."

"Well one thing's for sure, you need to talk with him about it" Maka crossed her arms, staring at the table in front of her "you don't have to force anything, just push for it, because if what you're thinking is actually happening and he's lying to everyone about it, then you _need_ to find out and help him."

"I know, I just don't want to hurt him anymore though" the thought of it sickened her.

Maka smiled at her friend, kind of the way Tsubaki always did when she scolded someone for saying something silly "Tsubaki, come on, you know that's impossible."

"Is it?" some irritation crept into Tsubaki's voice without her meaning to "is it really so hard to believe that I can do this without hurting him?"

Maka didn't react to her tone though "everyone has a problem with someone they care about once in a while" she gestured all around "me and Soul, me and Black Star, and heck even now with me and you, we all have an argument once in a while about what's best for ourselves" she leaned forward, staring Tsubaki in the eye "it's accepting it and forgiving each other afterwards that matters because in the end the problems we argue about are real and need to be fixed."

Tsubaki wanted to stay mad, she wanted to walk out and call Maka stupid for saying that she couldn't help Crona without trouble… but she could. Tsubaki sighed ruefully, shaking her head. When had Maka suddenly become so cool headed and thoughtful with anyone but Crona?

"I remember a time when _I_ was the one who calmed everyone down and gave out advice" Tsubaki smiled back eventually.

Maka laughed¸ patting Tsubaki's hand "we all have our moments" she sat up straight, becoming serious "so, are you going to have a talk with him?"

She thought about it hard. She loved Crona, and wanted him to be happy and safe, and live the normal life he deserved. And whatever had happened to him was getting in the way of all of that. He needed someone to talk to, someone to confide in so that they could help him deal with al of it. She would do it, for him, for the life he deserved.

Tsubaki finally, if not a bit reluctantly nodded "I'll talk to him" Maka seemed to relax upon hearing that "you're right about how he acts with all of his problems, he's probably letting it all fester inside of him" she considered a plan of action.

What was the best way to give Crona a chance to tell her himself and then ask him about it later? She needed a deadline, and a place where she could get him alone so they could talk and he couldn't run away like he had been doing lately. Someplace crowded, but not crowded in a way that Crona will be put off and not want to go. Someplace familiar. Someplace…

Tsubaki looked up from her thoughts "… Kid is hosting a party in a few days right? One just for fun?" she asked and when Maka nodded she did as well, coming up with the outline of a plan, this was the best she could think of right now "I'll give him until then, if he doesn't tell me anything by the time the party is halfway over, I'll make him tell me what's wrong."

Maka shrugged, it was the best either could come up with "It'll do for now, but I'm going to hold you to that."

Tsubaki's phone suddenly buzzed on the table and she grabbed it in a flash, a message from Crona, finally, relief flooded through her as she read the text "he's on his way now, Stein wanted him to stay after for a little more so they could all talk."

Maka still looked at her seriously "that's great, but I'm serious Tsubaki, if you don't get anything out of him and don't even try at the party I'll _make_ you, make him talk" she pointed at her "I'm not ever going to ignore him again when he's hurt and scared, and neither should you."

Tsubaki stared for a moment then nodded with a gracious smile "thanks Maka."

"No problem" Maka finally smiled again "I'm happy to help when it comes to him."

Tsubaki couldn't help saying it "you know, if you hadn't been in love with Black Star, you would have been perfect for Crona" the two giggled at the thought "you're the perfect cross between loving and pushy, which is exactly what Crona could use right now."

Maka smirked "I can't say I wouldn't like the chance" she nudged Black Star's drooling form "I may love this blockhead and all, but someone like Crona…" she shrugged "it would be a nice change of pace, having someone who actually listened… and cleaned up after himself…" she frowned "and cooked well, and loved to read, and didn't boast about his ego every five seconds" she gave Tsubaki a curious look "I… don't suppose you be willing to _trade_?" she asked playfully.

The two immediately broke into a fit of laughter, they were lucky the restaurant wasn't packed "sorry, but he's mine Maka, and I'm not giving him up any time soon" her phone buzzed again, he was right outside. She glanced out the tinted window and caught sight of the boy walking in "or ever for that matter."

Maka nodded acting devastated "oh well" she huffed, looking down at Black Star with mock disapproval "I guess I'll just have to settle for my little idiot here" she chucked, flicking his head, trying to wake him up.

Crona walked up to table shortly after, and Tsubaki didn't fail to notice the rattling coming from his pocket. He saw her looking and rubbed the back of his head, uncomfortable "I was starting to run low on my sleep medication" he shrugged and Tsubaki kept the hurt and disapproval buried deep, not letting it show "Stein gave me extras."

That may have worked if Tsubaki hadn't just seen how much was still left in the bottle last night. How could he possibly lie about something like that so blatantly to her? Her worry grew within her as he sat down next to her. What had these nightmares done to him to warrant Stein giving him _more_ medication and then make him _lie_ to her about it? The sleeping pills alone were bad enough in her opinion.

"That's good, with the way you've been sleeping lately you'll need them" Tsubaki was always a good actor. This all just added one more question she'd have to ask him about, all these lies he was telling her "I wouldn't want you to be exhausted for the party Kid's holding."

Crona frowned at her "Kid's having a party?" she nodded and noted his expression deepen "… you want to go?" he asked and she nodded again "with me?" another nod without hesitation. He smiled at her, like he always did when she asked for something "okay, we'll go" his smile softened when she hugged him.

She knew that. It was a problem of hers that she had buried deep down, the fact that Crona was always doing every little thing she asked from him with little question, but in this case she was glad for it "great, I always love seeing you in your vest."

Crona looked off to the side, his cheeks becoming a bashful pink "really?"

Maka couldn't help smirking "it _does_ make you seem more mature when you wear it" his reactions were always cute.

"Well he is a gentleman after all" Tsubaki chuckled, resting her head on his shoulder as his blush deepened, but she noticed the little quirk in his mouth, that tiny little smile at her compliment "my mature, cute, little gentlemen suitor" it was moments like these that were nice, when Crona was back to his usual happy, easily embarrassed self around her. No nightmares. No distance. No lies. Just Crona treating her like a normal boy should with his girlfriend… almost like it at least, but she still had hope for him.

Hope that grew more and more brittle with every thought she had about Kid's party. All she had left was hope that this nice, happy relationship of theirs remained after the party.


	4. Crona's Last Chance

Tsubaki was disappointed to say the least.

Four days. Four _days_ and Crona hadn't shown even the smallest sign of telling her anything, no matter haw many chances had come up. He had experienced a nightmare each of these nights which had left him in the same sorry state as the one that had worried Tsubaki in the first place. Not to mention that with each night that passed he seemed to become more and more scared of being around her, and he almost seemed to _punish_ himself for it afterwards. She noticed that he had almost stopped eating entirely along with sleeping which left him a sickly pale, and he had also taken up a horrible habit of taking a pair of that medication Stein had given him every day which only made him worse.

And yet even with all of this, all of this meaningless self destruction, what concerned her most was how during the day he would do a complete personality change, apologizing for what he had done after each nightmare while he tried more and more to push for dates and alone time with her. It was as if he was almost filling himself up with their time spent together, that's what it felt like to her.

Why else would he do that unless he thought it was all going to come to an end? This thought ate away at her every hour of every day. Even on this one, where she was supposed to try being happy with her friends, picking out dresses for the party. Tsubaki tried her best to enjoy their time together, but no matter how much she attempted to ignore it that nagging thought in the back of her head always remained.

"So" Liz began, from outside the changing room "big day tomorrow" she glanced over at Tsubaki, who was brooding as she had a lot lately, with a new dress folded in her arms "especially for you from what I've heard."

"Hopefully" Tsubaki sighed, leaning against the wall next to the room.

"Oh, come on Tsubaki" Maka spoke up from the dressing room "he'll talk to you about it, I'm positive he will, you shouldn't worry."

"Well I am worried" Tsubaki looked down at the dress sadly "I can't help it."

"Hey, it's ok, we're all worried about the poor guy" Liz patted her shoulder "don't think we haven't noticed how bad he's gotten lately."

Tsubaki nodded slowly "I know" she sighed "I know, it's just I've tried almost a dozen times over this week to talk to him about it, but he backed down every time, why would tomorrow be any different?"

"He's scared, that's all" Patty chimed in from beside her sister "he get's all quiet when he's scared."

"I know that" Tsubaki sounded so irritable "but I want to know _what_ he's scared of."

"Your reaction to whatever it is bothering him maybe?" Liz suggested with a shrug.

Tsubaki shook her head "he hasn't done anything bad, he couldn't have, we've been with each other almost every day, so what could I possibly react badly to?" The girls all thought about that. They couldn't come up with anything.

Maka frowned, walking out to check out her new frilly white dress in the mirrors "maybe it's something that _could_ happen that's bugging him" she finally thought "he's always worried about stuff that _could_ happen."

"I guess, but what could it be?" Tsubaki thought out loud. Liz had a good idea, and Tsubaki soon noticed her suddenly keeping quite "what?"

She looked up at the ceiling "well… it could be… you know."

Tsubaki frowned "what?"

Liz coughed, rolling on the balls of her feet, but Patty beat her to it "sex."

Tsubaki couldn't keep the frown from deepening "why would _that_ scare him?"

Maka shrugged, if not a bit uncomfortably, it made sense "it fits when you think about it" it was Crona after all.

"You really think that's it? I guess it does make some sense…" Tsubaki could understand being worried about that, but the blind terror she saw in Crona every day wasn't explained by something as simple as a worry about sex "no, there's no way anyone, even _him_, would be as terrified as he was by something like that" she walked into Maka's now empty changing room.

"So he's really hasn't said anything about what the problem could really be?" Liz couldn't believe anyone could be that thorough with a secret "not even a little hint?"

"No, nothing" Tsubaki sighed, setting the dress to the side "I've paid attention to every little thing he's said, and he hasn't said anything at all."

"Well, you'll get _something_ out of him tomorrow" Maka adjusted part of her dress "we're going to help him, even if he doesn't want us to."

"I guess so" Tsubaki stripped "you really think we can get him to talk?"

"You know that we're going to help him" Liz smiled at the door "right?"

"I know" Tsubaki nodded, slipping into the dress "I just don't want to-"

"Hurt him, we know" Maka chuckled "but we've been over this before, sometimes a little bit of hurt is unavoidable."

"Besides, he'll be thanking you in the end" Patty smiled "he always does" she giggled "he's funny like that."

"I hope so" Tsubaki stepped out, and the others all grinned at her "so?" she spun a bit. It was a solid black silk dress that hugged Tsubaki's form well, it was very complimenting "do you think he'll like it?"

"Oooh, Crona's gonna _love_ it" Liz smirked.

"What do you mean?" Patty laughed "he loves everything she wears."

"You really think he'll like it?" she looked herself over in the mirrors "is it too much?"

"Tsubaki, please" Maka rolled her eyes with a smile walking into the room to change again "he drools over every dress you wear."

Tsubaki scowled at her "no he doesn't."

Maka shrugged, shutting the door behind her "well, you're usually not paying attention when he's looking so…"

"And he _is_ a growing boy" Liz looked away from Tsubaki's deepening scowl "no amount of fear can change hormones after all."

Patty giggled "you make him stiiiiiff" she sang, and Liz covered her mouth, taking a deep breath, trying to hold herself back.

Tsubaki looked at her, horrified "what are you talking about!" why would she say something like that out of nowhere?

Liz rolled her eyes when she thought it was safe, her sister was awful "don't listen to her Tsubaki, it's nothing."

Tsubaki stood for a bit, fidgeting with her hands while Patty just kept laughing to herself "… were you being serious?"

Liz coughed, stumbling while Patty snickered "_Tsubaki_!" did she really just ask that?

Tsubaki shifted on her feet "what? It's not like I don't… _think_ about that kind of thing" she leaned against the wall "you all think about it with your dates."

Liz rubbed the back of her head "well, yeah but…" hearing Tsubaki of all people say that… "Patty was just kidding, we wouldn't know about that."

"Oh" Tsubaki tried to compose herself "right, of course…"

Patty smiled at her friend sweetly "aww, don't worry Tsubaki" she actually went over and hugged her "I'm sure you give Crona plenty of bo-"

"_OK_!" Maka clapped her hands, startling the others while she walked out, an exasperated expression on her face "that's enough of _that_!" she shook her head at the others "this is not something we talk about in public thank you."

Tsubaki managed to laugh with the sisters "I know, I know, I was just kidding around Maka" she was curious about the topic though.

"Right" Maka nodded, looking at her friend oddly "if that's all it was…"

"Of course it is, I wouldn't talk about that in public" thinking about it though was another thing entirely "so, how about we go pay for these ok? I wanted to help Crona with some studying for Stein's test tomorrow."

Patty smiled mischievously "'_studying' _right."

"Shut up Patty" Liz shook her head.

…

Tsubaki was still a little thrown off by Patty's comment earlier that day, so much that it almost made her say no to Crona's request for a study date. It was awkward, being so close to him after all she had thought about before coming. Did she even interest him in that way? She thought about that for a while as the two of them sat alone in Tsubaki and Black Star's home for a change, studying for the test Stein had scheduled for the next day, the same day as Kid's party. They were on Tsubaki's bed, Crona holding onto her tightly as he looked over her shoulder, studying the papers below. He held onto her tight enough, he had to be interested just a little bit to want to do that.

"I'm glad you asked me to help you today Crona" Tsubaki glanced back at him, at his pale face "it's always nice to have a study partner" he only nodded in response. That was another thing that concerned her, the fact that Crona had practically gone mute except for when he was praising her or thanking her, he was almost entirely silent when it came to anyone else. It sent a pang through her "I really am glad that you're here."

He smiled at her, which would have been nice if not for the rings around his eyes making him seem like he was exhausted "it's no problem" _why did he keep doing that?!_ Telling her there was no problem when there so obviously was?

She was silent for the most part a while after that, just wondering to herself what she could do while Crona gave answers to the problems she gave him. She wanted to know why he was feeling bad enough to punish himself to this extent, but she wanted him to tell her _himself_, not because she forced it out of him. She wanted to earn it from him. She wanted to earn everything from him, not just get it because she wanted it.

She glanced back at him again, she had to at least try once more "… hey Crona?" he looked up at her with a hum "… you know I love you right?"

He frowned at the sudden question. Why was she asking him this? "I know that…" he nodded warily. Where was this coming from?

"And you know that you can trust me with anything right?"

A tremor went through him, he suddenly felt nauseas "_yeah_" had she found something out? Why else would she ask this?

"So if anything was wrong then you could tell me about it right?" she managed a smile. One chance "so has anything happened to you?" she asked carefully "you know you haven't been looking too good lately."

Crona didn't know what to do. She couldn't know. He couldn't tell her, because she'd be disgusted with him if she knew. It was such an unreasonable thing to think because it was Tsubaki, that but it was all that he believed while they sat there. He shook his head "no, nothing's wrong" he couldn't tell her.

Tsubaki slumped unnoticeably "you can trust me Crona-"

"I know that!" he said quickly, he didn't want her to think anything else ever "I trust you more then anyone else!"

The sadness flooded through her "then why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he started to deny it again "_Crona_" he clammed up "_please_, I know something is happening to make you like this" she pulled herself away and turned to face him "have you seen yourself in the mirror?" he felt even worse seeing the disappointment in her eyes "you barely eat, you barely sleep, you take Stein's medicine every day" she was pleading now "_please_."

He was shaking now "Tsubaki I… I-I…" he didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her, but at the same time he didn't "I _can't_" his eyes fell.

She straightened up, smiling ever so faintly. At least he had admitted something is wrong with that "why not?" now all that was left was finding out what it was "what is so horrible that you can't tell me about it?" she cupped his face and made him look at her "I know for a fact you haven't been cheating on me" at his horrified expression she could only nod "you haven't had any chance to be with anyone else-"

"And I _never_ would even if I did!" the thought made him sick "you mean everything to me."

"I know that Crona" she knew she could trust him "and I also know that you definitely haven't killed anyone either" she smiled at him, but it cracked away "so what is it then? What is it that has you so scared of being close to me? What is it that's making you punish yourself so much?"

He didn't want to lie to her. He didn't want to keep up all of this but the thought of letting her know… "I'm sorry" he felt numb saying it "I'm so sorry."

Tsubaki didn't understand it "why? Why can't you tell me?"

"Because… because I'm scared" he was terrified.

"Scared of what? You know I can accept anything" and it was true.

He didn't think so though "you can say that now, but everyone has a limit" he looked up at her sadly "you said that to Ragnarok once, everyone has a line, _everyone_."

She nodded, that was almost comical, using something like that against her "so you don't want to talk to me about it then?" she sighed.

"I want to…" he shook his head "I want to tell you but…" he looked miserable "I'm so sorry."

She felt so bad for making him go through these feeling. He didn't know how to deal with these feeling like other people, he was so used to bottling everything up "Crona" he was shaking so much against her. She knew she shouldn't say it, that to do so would just make her as bad as he was for bottling it up… but she couldn't stand seeing him like this "it's ok-"

"No it isn't ok!" he shook his head, saying that phrase for the first time "I just don't know how to deal with all of this!" he clutched his head "I want to tell you, I want to so bad, but I'm so afraid of how you'll react-"

"Crona" he felt her hands over his "it's alright" he was so scared "everyone has a right to their secrets-"

"But not when they're together like us" Crona was so miserable "people who are together are supposed to trust each other."

"And they're supposed to give each other their privacy too."

Tsubaki felt awful. Not just because she was pretty much pushing Crona all the way into his own little world of pain by telling him it was ok, but because she was also questioning tomorrow night. Could she really force him to tell her what was going on? Could she really do that to him after comforting him like she just had? She didn't think she could, which put her in such an awful position. What would she tell Maka? Would she even forgive her for going back on her word?

Was this the kind of problem Crona was going through? Worrying about the consequences of this kind of thing? She could only imagine what it's been like for him, having to put up with issues like this for so long when she was only just now putting up with it.

"It's ok" she wrapped her arms underneath his "you're ok, you're ok…" she couldn't do it. She couldn't make him tell her the problem after this. How could she?

She was awful.


	5. Last Minute Thoughts

Tsubaki felt horrible.

She felt horrible when she left Crona's house once he had calmed down, she felt horrible when she went home and went to sleep later, and felt horrible when she woke up that next morning. What was she going to do? Every moment she thought about what she had said to Crona she regretted it more each time. She should have _pushed_ him more, should have tried to get the truth out of him and help him with it, not tell him it was all ok and keep it locked up.

By doing that she had just backed him right back into that fear filled corner he used to hide in all that time ago. And the worse part about all of this was that now she didn't have the will to make him tell her _anything_! What kind of person was she now? She was no better then someone turning a blind eye to a friend abusing a drug; that was exactly how anyone would describe her now.

Not to mention the thoughts that were filling her head about what she was going to do with Maka. The more she thought about it the more she just _knew_ that Maka would hate her. She had promised her that she would help Crona, promised that she would comfort him just like she had so many times before, but then she had to go and lose her backbone a day before the party where it was all supposed to happen. She deserved it though, because Maka was right about what she had said to her. There was no way to do this without hurting Crona, and she had a duty to help him no matter what she had to do.

And that was a duty that she had failed miserably.

Why did she have to be so weak when it came to him? She wanted him to be happy and never have to feel pain again, but that was just a stupid dream she had to go and have, everyone got hurt eventually. And now Crona was probably suffering even _more_ because he thought she was disappointed in him. The thought made her sick, that by doing what she had done, letting him keep his secret, she was hurting him worse then she ever would have by forcing him to face his troubles.

She was a horrible person.

…

Maka glanced over at Tsubaki and Crona for the fifth time during class the next, worry lining her face. The two hadn't said a word to each other or anyone else for that matter since the moment they came into class. She also noticed how they wouldn't even look at each other. What was happening with the two of them to make them act this way?

She tried getting Tsubaki's attention a few times to ask what the problem was but was met with nothing but a sad glance before her friend looked away. Maka didn't know what was happening.

_"Hey Black Star"_ she whispered to her sleeping boyfriend, kicking his leg to wake him _"what's up with Tsubaki?"_

"What do you-" he winced when she kicked him again, shushing him _"what do you mean?"_

Maka sighed, he was so dense sometimes _"I mean, why is she acting like she killed somebody? And why is Crona acting exactly like her?"_

The others glanced at the two in question, worry lining their eyes as they noticed it _"do you think they got into a fight?"_ Liz seemed the most worried out of them.

Maka shook her head _"I don't think so, if that was the case then one of them would look mad or something"_ what could it be then?

_"I hope it isn't anything bad"_ Patty pouted, not liking the way Tsubaki and Crona looked _"I don't like it when they're sad."_

_"Guys come on"_ Soul spoke up _"this is uncool, everyone has a bump in their relationship every now and then."_

_"That doesn't mean we should just ignore it"_ Maka retorted _"just look at what that did to Cro-"_

"I'm sorry Maka, is there something you'd like to share?" Stein called up, making the entire group tense up "it must be important for you to be ignoring my teaching."

"Uh-no, no, I'm fine" she shifted her shoulders, trying to shrink. It was so unlike her to be called out.

She and the others were quiet for the rest of the time in class, but she still tried to get Tsubaki's attention every now and then. Though all she got in response was the same reaction as before, a surge of guilt in Tsubaki's features before she looked away. And the moment she had gotten close to her after class Tsubaki had sped away out the door, only making Maka worry even more.

Maka actually had to wait throughout the entire day till lunch before she even got a chance to find out what all this was about. She had to wait until her friend had sat down so that she couldn't get away before she decided to come up, grabbing Tsubaki's hand "come with me" she pulled Tsubaki out of her seat much to everyone's confusion.

"Maka?" Tsubaki still couldn't look at her friend even with her surprise "what are you-"

"Just come on" she interrupted with no explanation.

"What are you doing?" despite everything that had happened Crona actually got up. It made Tsubaki feel even more guilty that he concerned himself with her after what she had done.

Maka smiled at him though "don't worry Crona, I just need to borrow her for a second ok?"

He looked between them with worry still "Tsubaki?"

She managed to put up a smile for him, no need to add to the rest of his negative feelings "it's alright Crona… I'll be back" she might as well get it all these issues with Maka over with now. Better then letting her friend build up a stockpile of things to hate about what she had done.

Maka turned around and pulled them out of the cafeteria and out into the empty halls. Tsubaki's anxiety was evident when Maka crossed her arms "Tsubaki, what the heck is wrong with you?"

Tsubaki couldn't look her in the eye "I don't know what you-"

"Don't give me that" Maka snapped earning a flinch, but she didn't care, she had to know the problem "what is going on with you today? You've been avoiding me like I'm a _Kishin_."

Tsubaki knew that, much to her shame "I'm sorry Maka I just… I've had a bit of trouble…"

Maka softened her tone "Tsubaki… what happened with you and Crona yesterday?"

Tsubaki tensed up "what? Nothing! Nothing happened" she said quickly. God, she was as bad as Crona right now "nothing, really…"

"Come on, don't lie to me" Maka pushed "I've seen the way you've been looking at him today."

"And how's that?" Tsubaki fidgeted with the hem of her clothes.

"I know guilt when I see it" Maka leaned back on her heel, turning thoughtful "did you have a talk with him?"

Tsubaki's wince wasn't reassuring "_no_…"

Maka saddened "Tsubaki… what happened?"

Tsubaki slumped against the wall, holding her head. What was the point? "Maka I… I tried" she shook her head, miserable "I tried talking to him, I did, but… he had admitted something was wrong, we got that far…" she tried to lighten it up.

"So what happened?" Maka frowned. This sounded good so far.

"After… afterwards he just got so _hurt_ and… and I just couldn't make him go further."

Maka nodded, so that was it then "but there's always tonight right?" she asked, staring at her friend who was now shifting around uncomfortably "right?" she asked again when she got no answer.

"Maka…" Tsubaki shook her head again "I _can't_."

"Why not?" Tsubaki hesitated with her answer. Maka was going to find out eventually, and she'd be even angrier if Tsubaki had kept it to herself. It was probably better to try and get it out now and let Maka work her anger out right away "Tsubaki, why not?"

"I… _I_ _told_ _him_ _it_ _was_ _ok_" Tsubaki took a deep breath, readying herself.

"What?" Maka tensed.

"I said it was ok… that it was alright that he was keeping it to himself" she braced.

"Oh god, Tsubaki" Maka's voice was full of so much disappointment it hurt "why? Why would you _do_ that?"

"I'm _sorry_ ok?" she snapped "I couldn't keep myself from saying it!" Tsubaki shook her head "don't you think I feel bad enough about it already?" Maka just stared "all I've been thinking about since yesterday was how I let him down by telling him that" Maka kept staring at her, misery written on her face. It went on longer then Tsubaki could put up with "say something…" her hands shook slightly "yell, scream, do anything just… just don't sit there and say nothing" she begged.

Maka stared for a bit longer then sighed. She went over to the wall next to Tsubaki and slid down onto her butt "well… this is a big mess isn't it?"

Tsubaki was surprised at how level Maka sounded. That worried her more if anything "what? Maka I…" Maka patted the ground next to her "I… I'm sorry I said it ok-"

"Ah, ah" Maka raised a finger, silencing her "sit" she poked the ground. When Tsubaki finally did Maka took a deep breath.

"Maka-" Tsubaki began but was cut off when the book met her head. She rubbed the spot, looking at Maka with confusion. It hadn't hurt at all.

"You. Are. Too. _Sensitive_" Maka gave each word a hit before shaking her head "I just knew this was going to happen with you, all I hoped for was that you'd have done it at the party, it'd be so much easier for everyone if it had happened there" she set the book at her feet while Tsubaki just stared, shocked. She had known? Maka shook her head again "but now this had to go and happen and throw a wrench into everything."

"Maka you… you _knew_ I would do this?" how could she have known? "How?"

Maka looked at her friend like she were an idiot "Tsubaki, come on, you care about him a little _too_ much, even for a girlfriend" she shrugged "part of me wished you wouldn't, but the rest knew you would do this" she rested her head back against the wall with a chuckle "man Tsubaki, why can't you be like you are with Black Star when it comes to Crona?"

Tsubaki rested her chin on her knees, trying to understand what was happening. Maka wasn't mad? "Maka?" she got a hum in response "aren't you angry?"

Another chuckle "oh trust me, I'm angry alright" she glanced at Tsubaki seriously "you probably could have fixed whatever Crona's problem was right then and there, but you just chickened out at the end and gave up on trying" she had a sad smile now "you really did have to go and screw everything up for him didn't you?" Tsubaki winced and Maka's face softened with a sigh "I'm sorry, I guess that's a little too harsh."

"It's true though" Tsubaki hugged her knees, resting her head against them "he… he looked even _worse_ then he did yesterday" her grip on her arms tightened "and it's all my fault."

"Well… it's not all _that_ bad I guess" Maka shrugged, feeling bad now about what she had said "I mean, at least you did it because you love him, so there's that" she reasoned.

"I still shouldn't have done it either way" Tsubaki shook her head again "what am I going to do about him?"

"Talk with him of course" Tsubaki snapped up straight "you can find out the problem and apologize all at once."

"But Maka, I can't, not after-"

"You can, and you will" Maka brought her book out again, pointing it right at her friend "Tsubaki, you know you have to be strong if you want to break through his shell, it's just like what you did at the resort."

Tsubaki's lip curled up at the memory despite everything "this is different though-"

"Is it?" Maka asked, raising an eyebrow "just because the shell is deeper doesn't mean it's made of something different" she put the book on her lap "he's afraid about something, and if you just let him suffer through it you're going to hurt him more then anything" she crossed her arms "Tsubaki, you love him right?"

"Of course I do!" the answer came instantly.

Maka smiled "then show him that when you ask him" she reached out and set a hand on Tsubaki's shoulder "I _know_ you want to keep him happy, I _know_ you're worried about hurting him, but if you love him, if you really love him, like I _know_ you do…" she shrugged again, still smiling "then you'll talk to him, and find a way to help him with what's eating at him, and he'll understand."

Tsubaki was quiet for a while after this "… I _do_ love him, I really do."

"I know that" Maka's arms were crossed again "so what are you going to do tonight since you love him so much?"

"I'm…" Tsubaki took a deep breath, steeling herself. Maka hadn't hated her, she had accepted what she had done. She owed it to her to at least try "I'm going to… to try and help him."

Maka nodded, it was a start "that's all I can ask from you" she pushed herself to her feet, stretching "alright, come on, I'm pretty sure Crona is pacing by now with worry" she chuckled, reaching out for Tsubaki.

"… Thanks Maka" Tsubaki took the hand "you're a good friend."

Maka shrugged with a smirk "I try, now come on" she yanked her to her feet.

…

Crona still wondered what had happened with Maka and Tsubaki, even when Tsubaki sat next him to tell him everything was alright and that it was all just the two of them talking about the party later in the day. He accepted it without question of course, but it didn't really change his feelings that much. Things had been getting so much worse, his nightmares had been acting up, and the madness hadn't helped either. All he could think about that week was what was going to happen that night at the party, what he was going to do. All that went through his head were scenarios about what he could do to mess everything up and finally drive the nail into the coffin of his relationship.

It was all that filled his mind even when he left for home. He checked and double checked his vest to make sure it looked ok, not wanting to make Tsubaki look bad by dressing badly. He made sure he had his anxiety medication ready, and that his clocks were all set right so he'd be ready for to show up. And he made sure that he had his flowers ready for her. He _had_ to make this night good, it may be one of the last he had with her.

He had to, he had to show he had the right to be with her still.

"Dude" Ragnarok popped out as Crona fidgeted on his bed, sick with worry "calm the hell down already, holy crap" he actually sounded worried for once "I mean Jesus man, you're getting sick worrying about this stuff."

"But I have to make tonight good for her" Crona tapped his knees together repeatedly.

"You really think that she aint gonna like this?" Ragnarok raised an eyebrow "you actually haven't screwed up for once when it comes to your girl, what makes you think you will this time?"

"I don't know, I'm just scared I will ok?" the way his hands were clamped together you'd think he'd have broken something by then.

"No, it's not ok dumbass" Ragnarok sighed, then groaned "man, when the hell are you going to get another damn massage from her?!" he suddenly asked, startling Crona "this crap is starting to get real old, you've gotten this stupid freaking tense thing going again, why don't you just talk with her so she can fix this?"

"I can't do that Ragnarok, I'm _sorry_" Crona had curled up somewhere along the way "I can't do that again-"

"Why the hell not!" Ragnarok snapped.

"Because it makes me too loose!" Crona was shaking now "I can't let myself go anymore, not with how bad things have been getting!"

"It's your own damn fault it's this bad in the first place!" Ragnarok yelled. When Crona didn't even try answering he waved him off in disgust "whatever… you know what? I was wrong, you _are_ screwing things up with this girl, you dumbass" Crona only curled up tighter "she's tried making everything better with you, and all you can do is lie about everything and push yourself into that crappy little circle of yours!" when Crona didn't answer again Ragnarok actually punched him in the back of the head with a snarl "I swear to god, if you screw all this up for us, if you ruin our life when it was just starting to get good I'll kill you myself" and with that he slipped back inside with a sneer "freaking dumbass."

…

Crona's hands were still shaking when the doorbell had finally rung. He took a deep breath and swallowed a pair of his medication pills, steeling his nerves. He would be ok, he just had to make it through the night, and he'd have all he'd ever need from her. He wouldn't have to keep her chained down anymore with all his problems, he wouldn't have to make her worry about him when he didn't deserve it.

He took a deep breath, reaching for the flowers he had bought then going to the door. His grip tightened, dispelling the last of his shaking as he reached for the knob, but it turned out his nerves wouldn't have been a problem. The sight he was given when he opened the door was enough to freeze him on the spot.

Beautiful. She looked amazing in that dress of her. Tsubaki smiled deeply, clasping her hands behind her bare back "thank you."

Crona frowned, beside himself "w-what?"

"You just called me beautiful, I was thanking you" she laughed at his suddenly embarrassed expression, she glanced down at the flowers while he struggled to understand how he had said that out loud "are those for me?" she asked innocently.

"Oh, uh, I-I-I…" he couldn't think of what else to do. He held them out.

She smiled more when she saw the flowers "camellias?" she spun the bouquet around in her hands.

"I-It's our first dance so I… I-I thought that, you know" he shifted on his feet. Had he already messed up? He couldn't deal with it if he had already ruined the night-

"Thank you" she leaned up and left a peck on his cheek, startling him out of his thoughts "they're very nice."

"You like them?" he sounded so worried.

"Of course I like them, it's very thoughtful, remembering my flower."

He frowned "you thought I'd ever forget?" the thought was horrible.

She smiled, hooking an arm under his "no, but it's still nice" she kissed his cheek again "come on, we don't want to be late do we?" He shook his head quickly, locking the door behind him "oh yeah, and one more thing" he was frowning at her again "you look very nice" she tapped his vest "very handsome."

He almost tripped, he was feeling so light from that compliment "I-I… I know I already said it but… you look…" he took a quick breath "you-look-very-nice-in-that-dress" he said quickly.

Her smile softened "gentleman" she chuckled, hugging his arm close as they walked off towards the academy.

Both were feeling so well from what they had both said that they barely even dreaded about what would happen at the party. Both were worried ever so slightly about how their actions that night could possibly destroy their relationship. They could have probably been the same person with the thoughts they had in the back of their minds.

_"I hope I don't mess this up."_


End file.
